What this is, and how to use it.

ABB:Ed won’t hand you a programme. No system to buy, no ten steps, no one telling you to fall in line. It’s a direction built on four things worth getting better at, and it won’t be for everyone. If you’ve felt the drift and want something better, Field Notes is where I work it through, out loud, a bit at a time.

I started out wanting to build something for men. The longer I did it, the more I realised the question underneath was an older one: how do you actually live a good life? I come at it through the lens of masculinity because that’s the life I’ve lived, not because I think it’s the only one that counts. And that’s the part that keeps this open rather than closed off: if you’re a man, you’re invited here, not judged. If you’re a woman who wants this for the men you love, you’re welcome too.

I’ve changed my mind on one thing since I started. I had this as four things to get better at on your own. It isn’t. Every one of them only means something in the direction of another person, and the two hardest parts of that are doing it with someone rather than at them, and waiting instead of wading in.

I’m not good at the second one. That’s most of what I’m working on.

Here’s a test worth running on anything built for men, ours included: are you needing it less? ABB:Ed is built to be outgrown. If a year from now you open these less because the conversations got easier, we’ll call that working.